I wish you didn't look so good to me right now.

I'm better than I have been for weeks but a sad hollowness has set in.

What am I going to do?

I wonder if you meant to do it.

Of course not. It had to be an accident.

It was such a challenge fighting the urge not to respond.

My heart aches for any semblance of your presence.

I have never cried for any one boy so much. My tears could fill oceans. Tears that sometimes feel like blood.

* * *

Gamble

A pleasant surprise
was the start of the demise.
An ill-judged game of chance,
lost in just one glance.

It was elation, it was bliss.
Oh the joy of hit and miss!
But rules change along the way -
promises turn into lies you say.

I wish I had called your bluff.
I wish I knew when enough was enough.
Now you’ve won and winner takes all.
And I have nothing left from the fall.

* * *

I'm so tired of this roller coaster ride.

He loves me, he loves me not.

This is the last nail on the coffin.

This time... it really is over.