i guess i just realized a few things.
in their eyes i've never really moved on from the past. i've tried to laugh it off all these years but i think... in some way they're right.
there will always be a part of me that just belongs there. call it privilege of firsts.
maybe one day i'll say all this out loud. and maybe one day i'll have my romantic comedy ending.
that should be interesting.
that should be REALLY interesting.
and funny.
i guess that's something to look forward to.
i won't ever be able to truly move on unless i do that.
yuck! cheesy! hahahahaha!!
can't hold me down.
don't mess with me.
i wonder how awkward it'll be.
maybe you do have your reasons. i can't help praying that you do.
Who makes you feel the way that I make you feel
Who loves you and knows you the way I do
Who touches you and holds you quite like I do
Who makes you feel like I make you feel
just breathe.
Monday, February 25, 2008
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
uh-oh. we're in trouble.
can't hide behind vague allusions anymore.
afraid? hell yeah.
the clock is ticking. am i relieved?
guilty wishes.
superficial beeyotch.
can't think straight.
procrastination amplified.
driven to dishonesty.
i don't want to hide but i don't think i have a choice.
so weird.
to think i defended you.
no more.
trying to find a foothold.
is this the opportunity i've been waiting for?
i'm more manipulative than i thought.
i just want what's mine---or what should be mine.
can't hide behind vague allusions anymore.
afraid? hell yeah.
the clock is ticking. am i relieved?
guilty wishes.
superficial beeyotch.
can't think straight.
procrastination amplified.
driven to dishonesty.
i don't want to hide but i don't think i have a choice.
so weird.
to think i defended you.
no more.
trying to find a foothold.
is this the opportunity i've been waiting for?
i'm more manipulative than i thought.
i just want what's mine---or what should be mine.
Saturday, February 02, 2008
pushed me into a rollercoaster.
can't sleep.
head buzzing with all these thoughts.
heart thumping wildly in my chest.
don't know what to do.
STOP PLAYING THESE GAMES!!
throwing me into turmoil.
maybe i should stop assuming.
i just can't help myself.
if i'm wrong, i don't know what i'm going to do.
i've already shot my foot twice. or more.
it's amazing how overconfident i've become.
what do you want?
why are you afraid to say it?
it's so obvious. why do you even bother to hide?
if it's nothing... SAY SO... before we all get ahead of ourselves.
honesty IS the best policy.
go on, i can take it.
hit me with your best shot.
can't sleep.
head buzzing with all these thoughts.
heart thumping wildly in my chest.
don't know what to do.
STOP PLAYING THESE GAMES!!
throwing me into turmoil.
maybe i should stop assuming.
i just can't help myself.
if i'm wrong, i don't know what i'm going to do.
i've already shot my foot twice. or more.
it's amazing how overconfident i've become.
what do you want?
why are you afraid to say it?
it's so obvious. why do you even bother to hide?
if it's nothing... SAY SO... before we all get ahead of ourselves.
honesty IS the best policy.
go on, i can take it.
hit me with your best shot.
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"There are a hundred things she has tried to chase away the things she won't remember and that she can't even let herself thin...