robin hood.

chicharon.

pandesal.

pusoy dos.

manila baguio nights.

i still love leonardo dicaprio.

hahahahaha!!

someone's watching,
somewhere waiting.

no one's there---
no one's ever there.

i can hardly breathe.

where is fascination?
where is captivation?

where is absolution?
where is resurrection?

you can't leave me here.

"We all live in a house of fire. No fire department to call. No way out. Just the upstairs window to look out of while the fire burns the house down... with us trapped, locked in it."
---Tennessee Williams

* * *

"Everyday that I have to come to this school, is another day I don't have to come back." ---Jimmy Edwards, One Tree Hill

oh the things that keep me sane these days.

the sweet thoughts that used to tickle my lips only come for a few hours in a week.

i'm existing but i sure as hell ain't living.
i want to stop spending my days wishing they were over.

"any problems with school?"
"i always have problems with school now."
"why?"
"because i hate it."

stop asking questions you already know the answers to.

turd.

i'm sorry but i don't love you anymore. but i still care. i care enough to hate you with every fibre of my being.

streams made invisible by night. cries drowned out by the pouring rain.

no rescue will come.

i just keep lifting myself up to be knocked down again. how stupid is that?

so go on, let me down. everybody seems to love doing that.

everyone knows i love to laugh. everyone knows i love to smile. i had so many different kinds to express at my liesure. but now i forget one laugh or one smile i used to know so well with every day that passes me by.

i don't know what's more pathetic:
-the fact that i wish i was happy again
or
-the fact that i wish i was never happy to begin with

because true happiness... once you've got a taste of it... you'll spend your whole life wanting only that.

how am i going to survive four years in this God-forsaken hell hole when i'm already crying mercy before the first semester is even over?

"we can only do this for so long," she said.

my one spec of hope and sanity can only last for so long. that simple sentence rendered me speechless and suddenly i felt like time had sucked the breath from inside of me. it took me to a dark place and they didn't even notice.

what happens when for-so-long comes? what will i have then?

i'd love to do this until our hair turns grey (or white) but that's just me. apparently just me.

you can't keep passion bottled up forever. it'll always find a way to pop out.

actually, for me, it's already out. i just don't know what to do with it.

why am i having this stupid party anyway?

to forget my growing list of heartaches for a day just doesn't seem like enough anymore.

if i were a weaker person maybe i'd be on drugs.

or maybe i'd be dead.

and at the end of the day... would any of that matter to anyone?

because as far as i'm concerned... i'm dead already.

my dreams have been burried alive beneathe the earth, gasping for air that will never come.