you don't even know who i am.

i am and i am not.

alienated.

sick of this. sick of you.

notice me.

stalker. they're all stupid stalkers. as if.

i want something real.

and she will be loved?

inadequacy is my plague.

i want to erase you. ALL OF YOU.

i'm not here for your entertainment.

i'm so tired of being here.

pathetic.

who am i to you? to any of you?

a transient shade worth nothing.

dust in the wind. hoping to catch your eye.

perish.

defined by you. how can i break free? how can i be more?

perhaps i am simply incapacitated.

sleep now. sleep forever. if only.

*sigh*

i did overreact, didn't i?

oh the drama. i'm sorry, i can't help it.

i suppose, neither can you but please, try harder to be more considerate of others next time.

it takes a lot for me to get angry at people i care about, so trust that it's for reasons that go deeper than a minute-long tiff.

if i love you, i won't scrimp on you. maybe that's why it's easy for those people to take advantage of me.

but sometimes, enough is enough and i have to tell you that.

my question had basis. don't upraid me on impulse. it's not fair. it takes a lot for me to be there and if i'm just gonna be treated like crap, i'd rather stay at home with my books who sit quietly on my bed.

you're not the only one who's stressed. you're not the only one who's tired. you're not the only one who's making sacrifes.

so why do you have the sole right to be angry or frustrated?

why must you always forget that i have the fully functional capacity to string together valid and coherent thought?

please. you're not always right. and i'm not always wrong.

When She Loved Me -Sarah McLachlan

When somebody loved me,
everything was beautiful
Every hour we spent together,
lives within my heart
And when she was sad,
I was there to dry her tears
And when she was happy, so was i,
when she loved me.

Through the summer and the fall,
we had each other, that was all
Just she and I together,
like it was meant to be
And when she was lonely,
I was there to comfort her
And I knew that she loved me.

So the years went by,
I stayed the same
And she began to drift away,
I was left alone
Still I waited for the day,
when she’d say "i will always love you."

Lonely and forgotten,
never thought she’d look my way,
She smiled at me and held me,
just like she used to do,
Like she loved me,
when she loved me

When somebody loved me,
everything was beautiful,
Every hour we spent together,
lives within my heart
When she loved me.

* * *

so tell me, have we come to this?

you and i were something then. and i keep telling myself it's still there somewhere.

is it though?

do i still fit in your life life like i used to?

can you still dig me up? do you remember how?

i don't want it to be a lie.

* * *

why am i squandering my time like this??? why??? guh. i just can't take it anymore. i've read these things a dozen times and, well, i just can't anymore. MY BRAIN IS REJECTING THE STRAIN. and i feel really guilty about it but then again... why force it? nothing's gonna get in there anymore.